I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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