Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
