never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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