when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I cut my penus on the lid.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
