I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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