So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize