Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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