So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
