I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Even my vagina gasped.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
