Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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