In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We were destined to go to rehab together
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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