Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My pussy is not your playground.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
