You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize