im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
