2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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