I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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