I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize