I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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