Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
