I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
