why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize