I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
