We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
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Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
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my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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