...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
