Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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