omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
