thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
