I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize