Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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