new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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