I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drunk is a universal language darling
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
