Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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