Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
