we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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