meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
