I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
