you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
