chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You were trust falling into bushes
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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