Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have aggressive nipples.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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