make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
