so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I could make wine with my vomit
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
