I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
