I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize