u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
