i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
