I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
