he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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