Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
