dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
