saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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