lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
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Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
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And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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