True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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