dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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