And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize