Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
A+ Viking dick
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize