This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize