somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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