Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
